186

I'm not entirely sure how I got here. 186 pounds. I haven't been that weight since I was pregnant with my first baby and had preeclampsia! I want things to change, but I really like food and I like eating good tasting things. Why is this so hard? Ok, tomorrow is Monday. A new week, a new start. I'm struggling with a UTI too right now, so that doesn't help. I've got to stay off sugar for the next 3 days to help this UTI go away. I can do this! 3 days is nothing! I can do ANYTHING for 3 days. I'm trying to get myself psyched. Help me out here. If I skip the sugar for 3 days then I can buy myself a new pair of earrings. Maybe a reward will help me stay motivated. 

Why do I eat the way I do? On some level I tell myself that I deserve it. I deserve to eat this treat because I had a tough week, tough day, or I've been really good the last few days so it's fine. But it's not fine. Treats (because it's never just one) every other day isn't fine. I need to make lasting change for my health and to keep up with my last kiddo. (He has ADHD and is everywhere all the time) He is about to turn 13 and I need to be able to keep pace with all the stuff he will be involved in. 

So I need to come up with a 'why'. Why should I do this? Not just to look good in my skin again, which will be nice. I'm on a lot of meds right now. My body can't come off some of the meds until I take off a significant amount of weight. Right now my goal weight is 130 pounds. I would like to be 150 by summertime. I'm doing this for my health and to be able to be the active mom I once was. 

I can do this!